Just in from the “No Kidding” Dept.

Via The Hill (which covers Congress), a stunning revelation: “chemical companies are worried [that Michelle Obama’s organic White House garden] may plant a seed of doubt in consumers’ minds about conventionally grown crops.”

[The lobbying organization] MACA, which represents agribusinesses like Monsanto, Dow AgroSciences and DuPont Crop Protection, is rather less thrilled about the fact that no chemicals will be used to grow the crops. The group is worried that the decision may give consumers the wrong impression about conventionally grown food.

In related news, the Tobacco Institute expressed disappointment that Michelle Obama would not be smoking as she gardened. “What kind of message does that send to today’s kids?” asked spokesman Raspy McCoffinail, leading a press conference 10 feet from the entrance of any public building.

Sensing blood in the water, sharks also protested any characterization that their dining habits might be construed as “unhelpful.”

A MACA (“Making Awful Chemicals Agreeable”) spokesman said the organization may hire the 81st Airborne to crop dust the White House.